The Empty Room

Sometimes I sit in silence in the room that would be our nursery. My heart aches so much to know that it may never be filled with the cries, laughter, and joy of our child or children. It is hard to understand why this has happened to us when we feel so deserving. I wish that the world would understand that this desire that I have doesn't come from a place of selfishness or "want'' but a deeply rooted desire for my life to be complete with a family full of children of our own. Though I know that we may never have our own biological children, I am determined to not let the room be empty forever. One day, somehow, our home willl be filled with the laughter, cries, pitter pattering feet of our children. Until that day nothing can fill the void of knowing you were meant for something more than you have been given.

As I sit in this empty room & I hear the sounds of your absence,

It lingers in the spaces between and fills it with silence.

Your presence dwells within the walls of my beating heart,

It aches each day to know that it may never be able to part.

To part with the dwelling aching deep inside of my soul,

Could it relinquish its hold on my heart and let its flight take its toll.

Will it ever go away this aching inside of my chest,

Or will it decide to stay until the day they lay my body to rest.

To know you are meant for more than what this life is giving,

To know that you have more love to give than what He is allowing.

The absent sounds grows louder with each new passing day,

This aching in my soul it grows more and more, it never goes away.

If just one time I could hold you close maybe it would flee,

But until that moment comes within the walls of heart you will be.

I wish to be your mommy and hope one day it comes true,

Until the day arrives I will listen to the sounds of this empty room.